SOLID FOUNDATION
FOR MARRIAGE
The easiest thing to lose in a marriage, and the hardest to regain, is your spouse's respect. It's the cornerstone of every marriage, the foundation for a healthy, solid union.
Serious marital problems almost always stem from a lack of respect somewhere in the relationship. Regardless of how respect was lost-through illicit affairs, addiction to pornography, drugs or alcohol, unresolved money conflicts-it can be regained, but it's very hard work. Whatever the transgression, the first step toward regaining a spouse's respect is total and complete honesty. After some years of marriage, couples become "sophisticated" about hiding transgressions. The future of the marriage may hinge on how the spouse learns of his or her partners wrongdoing. "The marriage has a better chance of healing if they confess, no matter how many 
years after the fact," says one prominent marriage counselor.
Once the sin is out in the open, the couple will need
time alone to begin the healing process. Having the  children visit friends over a weekend is a good idea. So 
too is the recommendation that the wounded partner resist the temptation to call her mother, sister, or best friend and "tell all." This only fuels resentment. Spending some time alone, thinking things through, and seeking God's guidance through prayer and
meditating on Scripture gives the hurting spouse time 
to hear from God first. 
The issue dividing a marriage may not be one of the "big" offenses, such as adultery. Nevertheless, little offenses can accumulate over time to erode respect. The husband who continually gives priority to his work, leaving his family feeling left out, is a common example.

If you've wondered why your spouse may have lost respect for you, begin by asking yourself some questions: "Have I done, or am I doing, something to lose my spouse's
respect?" "Are there little things I do that show disrespect for my spouse?" ,. Am I
willing to make changes in my attitudes and behavior?" What can I do to win back the lost respect?"

Greg Johnson & Mike Yorkey, With All Due Respect, August, 1995

"Nevertheless, let each one of you in particular
so love his own wife as himself,
and1et the wife see that she respects her husband."
                                                   - Ephesians 5:33